THE THERESA LYNNE BRUNKER STORY
March 12, 1955, a beautiful baby girl named Teresa Lynne Brunker was a blessing to her family. The first-born Wichita, Kansas, girl was a farm girl at heart. Her family lived in the city, but her favorite childhood memory was playing on their 40-acre farm outside town. She and her youngest sister had horses, dogs, cats, and goats and loved farm life.
Teresa was the oldest of 4 girls and two boys, ten years between herself and the youngest.
Her dad worked the farm, and growing up as a young adult, he also had a full-time job for McCormick-Armstrong, a book publisher. Her dad later worked at the newspaper and helped the company evolve from the old linotype printing to the new advanced automated publishing.
Teresa was in the 4-H Club and showed calves and horses. Growing up, all her neighborhood girlfriends had horses and are still good friends today. Teresa graduated high school in 1973.
When asked how she came to know Jesus, she said her mother-in-law every Sunday would give her a track to read every day called “Manna in the Morning,” and she still has that 5-page track today. She said there was a secret: to get up early every morning to spend time with the Lord before her day began.
Her mother was Catholic and remembered walking to church in the 3rd grade. Her best friend growing up grew up Catholic. Teresa would take her younger brother by the hand and walk uphill to the Catholic Church. She had another friend whose dad was a minister at the Methodist church and also went to VBS, usually at the Baptist church. Teresa grew up always going to church somewhere. Even though she was baptized at 18 at the Beltline Road Church of Christ in Irving, Texas, she said, “I never had a relationship with the Lord until I was baptized.”
Her husband, Steven Endsley, grew up in a family that had attended the Church of Christ for generations—wonderful, faithful parents. Teresa started attending the Church of Christ, and this was before she was baptized at 18.
Mrs. Endsley grew up on a homestead in New Mexico, and her mother was good friends with the relatives of Libby Mickey. (Libby is a widow in our Widow’s Heart program)
Teresa and Steven had a daughter in 1978 and a son in 1982. The daughter lives in Sugar Land, went to ACU, and graduated with a Bachelor’s in Science. She met her husband at ACU, and he went to medical school. After they married, they moved to North Carolina, where he finished his residency and fellowship. He is now a board-certified radiologist for Memorial Herman.
Her son lives in Dallas, is married, has two children, and owns his own BMW repair shop in Plano, Texas.
In 1971, her mom was only 35 years of age, and she died of a brain hemorrhage. Teresa, the oldest of six siblings, was left in charge. Her dad, who had a girlfriend, was seldom home. All of the kids had to go to live with her dad in Euless, Texas, near Fort Worth.
How and where did you meet your husband, Steven Endsley? “We met in Irving. Texas at the Spartan Atlantic Department Store, where we both worked. He graduated before her and went to the University of Texas in Arlington. He worked for many years for GTE in Irving, Texas, and Teresa graduated from Irving High School. Steve and Teresa were married for many years. However, one day, Steve decided he did not want to be married any longer. They had separated about ten years before he left. After the divorce, she attended nursing school, earning a Bachelor’s Degree in the Science of Nursing.”
She soon met the man who would later be the reason for her widow status. He was a lifetime farmer who farmed 4000 acres, part of which his dad owned. He lived and started the farm in 1951 in Olathe, Kansas. His name was Elmer Ray Brunker, Jr., and he was known as Ray. He was an only child, named after his dad. Ray grew up attending the Church of Christ after his marriage to Teresa. Her marriage to Ray lasted eight years, from 2008 until 2016. Teresa and Ray worked the farm together. They worked in the same office—Ray by the window and Teresa by the door in their home. The farm provided a good living. Ray needed additional help in the office, so Teresa returned to Kansas State University to take classes on running and operating a modern farm.
Ray died in 2016 of a related non-Hodgkins lymphoma. His last days were spent in a Hospice facility that sits on the farmland he had sold to the Olathe Medical Center and the same farmland he was born and raised. Ray had two children from a previous marriage.
What was your biggest challenge to overcome in being a widow?
Her husband Ray had two children who never had a good relationship with their dad, which started long before she came on the scene. Even though Ray had a Will, even before his death, the kids worked tirelessly to ensure she was omitted. The son even spent day and night blocking Teresa from seeing Ray. Ray was very sick and did not know that the kids were trying to kick Teresa to the curb and take over.
On his sickest and least coherent day, the kids got Ray to sign papers that would change his will. When Ray realized what the kids had done, he, with the help of a lawyer, minister, and friend, took steps to block some of their plans, and when they arrived at the hospital, they threw the son out of the room so Teresa could see and speak to Ray. His condition finally got so bad that he could not talk, so Teresa got a whiteboard to help him communicate.
How did you handle the first year after the loss? I had grief support and a best friend who never judged me and was always available to listen.
What advice would you give to someone facing the loss of their spouse today?
“Teresa shared. First, you are not alone. Even though friends and family surround you, you feel alone.”
Teresa still had her childhood best friend, Donna, who helped her with the Estate sale and a listening ear.
Later, Teresa returned to nursing school to update and obtain her Texas certification. Then hurricane Harvey hit, and then the COVID outbreak. She said, “Life was difficult.” “The one thing I looked forward to in December each year was Virgil Fry’s grief class, where I realized there are always others who have a more challenging road to travel.”
Virgil’s class was very healing. She said, “I came out on the other side, got a job, and worked for the state of Texas. It was like a breath of fresh air for me.”
What is your biggest struggle today? I need prayer to find a part-time job.
Favorite Hobby? Sewing and quilting.
Travel? I am a land lover but not much for cruising.
Cooking? I Like to cook.
Favorite Food? Mediterranean, especially cooking it herself.
Style? Likes crafting and the Minimalist Mom Website on Decluttering.
How has the Widow’s Heart program helped you? “Since this ministry began this last year, I feel like the doors of my life are open, and the lights are on! I think there is an opening now where I can use my life experiences to help others. I had never had an opportunity like this before. This program has introduced me to new friends who understand and are there for me. I am so thankful for what you started. Now, my daughter is interested in the Widow’s ministry and has friends who are also interested. I met my neighbor and friend Marie Moffett in this Widow’s program.
Growing up on a farm, we kept everything because you never knew when you might need something. We were not hoarders, but we kept stuff. My kids are from a minimalist generation. They have shown me that the minimalist lifestyle is better, so I am learning to declutter. My goal is to be clutter-free in 2023. My lifelong friend Donna still cannot believe I want to be a minimalist, but it is all good.
I am thankful to be where I am today.”