What Do When Someone Is Dying

All thoughts below must be weighed with compassion and common sense.  Put yourself in the place of the receiver.  Weigh your words carefully.  Remember, receiving a handwritten, heartfelt card is very powerful to the person you are writing to, but when possible, always make part of your support in person.  It is better to be present and say nothing than to fill the silence with words.  The thoughts below are just guidelines, and your relationship with the receiver of your kindness must be considered.

What to Say to Someone Who Is Terminally Ill

What do you say to your mom, dad, friend, sister, brother, coworker, or neighbor when you find out they are dying? Perhaps they told you that they are terminally ill with cancer, that their chronic illness may very well take their life, or that their health is declining rapidly. This is challenging news that would come as a shock to anyone. It is so shocking and upsetting that knowing how to respond and what to say can be challenging.

Finding The Right Inspirational Words for Those With Terminal Illness

It is possible to find the words. Use the examples below as inspiration to get you thinking. Give these messages some thought and find the perfect thing to say to the person who needs to hear them. Feel free to modify the ideas below to fit your needs and the person you are thinking of. Before we begin, let’s first talk about what not to say.

What Not to Say
It’s going to be okay: This can be hurtful. The truth is that it’s not going to be okay. They are dying. There are better things to say, which are listed below. Your intention may be good, but understand this is a sensitive topic.
You’ll beat it: When I found out my dad was terminally ill, many people believed he would “beat it” despite his cancer being inoperable, stage 4, and incurable. Not understanding someone’s terminal diagnosis can be unintentionally offensive. Don’t tell someone, “They’ll beat it,” when it’s scientifically impossible. There are other ways to offer hope and messages of peace and positivity.

I’ll pray for you: Why not just say, “I’ll be there for you”? “I’ll pray for you” can sound slightly like you’ve already checked out. Just be present for your friend or family member (you can still pray for them). If you are particularly religious, praying for someone is kind and might be appropriate and very helpful. It’s up to you. Clarifying your relationship and intention with this person is essential before you begin. Do you say these words in person or write them on a card? Are you looking for inspirational words or a sympathy message for a dying dear friend? Here are some helpful examples to get you started.

Messages for a Coworker or Neighbor
I want you to know I’m thinking of you and sending you positivity. Wishing you joy on this day. I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts, and I wish you wellness daily. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily—you mean so much to all of us. Enjoy the beautiful moments of every day. Sending you love and joy. You are such a light to everyone around you, and your bravery is inspiring. I am here for you—never hesitate if you need to reach out to me. You have my support. You mean so much to those around you and are essential to our community (or team). You are such an incredible gift to the world. Know that you have touched so many people. You have shown me how to be strong yet gentle, brave yet sensitive, and thoughtful yet free-spirited. We are so lucky to have a team member (or neighbor) like you. You light up our community.

Messages for a Dying Friend
You are a light in my life, and I am so thankful to know such a beautiful being. Your strength radiates outwards, reminding me daily to appreciate the present moment. I will stand by you through thick and thin. I am here for you whenever you should need me. Your friendship means the world to me, and I continue to learn so much from you. You shine above the clouds—your smile and spirit brighten the darkest days. Know that I am thinking of you every day. You have my prayers and best wishes and are forever in my mind. I care for you with all my heart and want you to know that you can lean on me whenever you need me. Our friendship has changed me on such a profound level. I am your advocate, always. Your strength is admirable. Thank you for teaching me how to face challenges with bravery and beauty. I keep you in my thoughts and heart in the quiet moments of my day.

Messages for a Parent (Mom or Dad) or Grandparent (Grandma or Grandpa)
Mom, you are my guardian and my inspiration, and you have loved me unconditionally. I am so thankful to have a mom like you. Dad—I know times are hard right now, but I think of you every day and always with love and light. You have taken such good care of me, and I only hope to take care of you just the same. I love you.
Mom, you are the leader of our family and the most muscular woman I know. Continue to shine bright. Dad, I will never forget the time you cared for me as a child. I felt safe in your arms, and you loved me unconditionally. I love you always. Mom, times could be better, but you have all our love and support. I am with you. Dad, it’s been hard watching you deal with your condition, but we are here for you, and I will do anything to make you feel comfortable. I love you so much. Mom, you are the light of my life. You bring me joy, and I hope to bring you just as much during this challenging time. Dad, you are our protector and rock. I hope I can offer you just as much support and strength. Mom, sometimes I wish we could turn back time to lighter days, but we work with what we have. I want to appreciate every moment we get to share. You are my number one. Dad, I wish I could be with you every moment to hug you whenever you feel low. You mean so much to me.

Love is forever.
You are with me, and I am with you. Without rain, we wouldn’t enjoy the rainbow. You’re in my heart and dreams forever. I smile forever when I think of our friendship. I will dance in the rain with you. You bring beauty into this world. Even when we are short of words, I am always here for you.
Our love will live forever.

All of these words are meaningful, yet never allow fear to stop you from expressing how much you love them, and because of my love for you, I will keep you in my prayers.

Author Unknown

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