THE ELIZABETH BANOWSKY STORY
Elizabeth Rose (Bailey, maiden name) Banowsky was born on Monday, January 16, 1939, at Methodist Hospital in Fort Worth, Texas. Her mom joked that it was during quail hunting season, and her Dad had just left the house when she went into labor. Cell phones did not exist, but somehow, her mom found a way to get a message to her Dad for him to return home as soon as possible. She entered labor, and beautiful Elizabeth entered this world at 11:19 p.m. Her parents were married in 1925 and were delighted to have a beautiful, bouncing baby daughter!
Elizabeth’s family roots are in Arlington, Texas. Her grandfather, James Ditto, was the first Postmaster, and his son, Web Ditto, owned the first General Store. Arlington was initially called Johnson City. Her family, including her aunts and uncles, made their homestead in Arlington on Main Street. Her parents worked many hours. Her Dad was Business Manager at Arlington State College for 41 years, and her mom worked at a local bank.
(Photo of General Store)
Being an only child and an early three-year-old, Elizabeth recalls the day when her mom would go to work, and she would say, “No baby. You are going to stay here today with Amy!” Elizabeth attributes much of her faith in Jesus to her upbringing with her aunt. She would read her Bible stories and sing songs to her, and Elizabeth was baptized at age nine.
She has always had a heart for working with children. She attended Arlington State College to fulfill her Dad’s wishes. She applied to American Airlines to be a stewardess and was accepted; however, she chose to participate in the University of Texas as her parents were helping her with her college funding. She was still dating her high school boyfriend, Frank, but he decided to leave the college. She called their mutual friend Mike. They attended a college fraternity dinner on February 3, 1960. On April 21, 1960, he returned to Austin and gave her a ring! They were married on September 3, 1960.
Although Elizabeth never graduated from college, she shares that her most significant degree was earning the title of Mrs. Mike Banowsky. She said the moment she met Mike, she knew this was what God had planned for her life. Mike’s family were all Church of Christ members, and his Dad was a preacher and elder. Elizabeth shared that Mike’s given name was James Aubra Banowsky. His Junior High School coach said he did not look like a James or Jim, so he began calling him Mike, and it stuck!
Mike and Elizabeth had 49 beautiful, loving years together! They were blessed with four children. Michael, Joe, Jana, and Sandy. Determined to have all four born in Texas, Elizabeth hopped on a plane and flew to Texas when it was time to have Sandy! In total, now, eight grandchildren and one great-grandson.
Elizabeth says, “God takes some things away and gives us many blessings back.”
In 1992, Mike had open heart surgery. God blessed them with another twenty years together. They returned home In 1994 from Indonesia, and he had some issues with a blood disorder.
Elizabeth and Mike both experienced the grief of losing their oldest son, Michael. Michael had been married for only three years and died in an early morning single-car collision. He was working extensive hours, and they were preparing to buy a home. Elizabeth had spent the evening before with Michael for dinner and shared with his mom how he had rededicated his life to Christ. The following day, she received a call from Michaels’s wife, Stephanie, that he had been in a wreck and passed away in 1994. Elizabeth knows that God gave this particular time to them and the blessing of the reassurance that Michael knew Jesus as his Savior.
The death of a child is not the normal flow of life. Elizabeth and Michael kept moving forward. Although Mike still had issues, he never complained. Mike was always happy and made the best Santa Claus at Christmas. He loved the Lord, and he knew his Scriptures.
In November of 2009, Mike and Elizabeth had spent the day working. Mike had just sold a home for 750K in Sienna that day. They were both in real estate. Mike was Elizabeth’s broker, and they worked together. They were home watching a football game. Their granddaughter, Risa, had come in and said, “BoomPa, do you want a cookie?” Mike had a sweet tooth and said, “Sure!” He held it up, looked at it, and took a bite. “That’s the best cookie I’ve ever eaten!”
They continued watching the game, and suddenly, Mike took a deep breath, then another. Elizabeth immediately called 911. Little did they know this would be their last day together. Risa asked to tell the story of her BoomPa eating the cookie she had baked at his funeral. She joked, “Now, none of my family will eat cookies when I bake them!”
Joe, the next oldest son, was a big help to Elizabeth. He was with her the day Mike died and then moved in to help her. Joe enlarged this picture, especially for his mom, the year after his Dad died.
Joe was in the Army. He was not a regular churchgoer. Joe had the kindest heart and never met a stranger. He always helped others and was respectful to all servicemen and women. Joe died in 2018, and Elizabeth misses him so much. She had been journaling but could not write anymore. “He was a wonderful son, and I felt so close to him.”
“It never quits hurting, but you can accept and know where they are or sit and be miserable. I had other kids and feel very blessed. I could have chosen to be miserable, but I know where they are and will see them again.” I am grateful that all four of our children are baptized and know Jesus.
What was your biggest challenge to overcome in being a widow?
I am leaving my home. I loved my home, but it was best that I sold it. My children have done so much for me. Every day, I have two choices. Unhappy or happy. I choose happy! I know my Lord empathizes with me. He understands the loss of a son. I moved to an apartment. The transition was hard.
I chose to focus on helping my children and grandchildren. Jana called one day and said, “Mom, do you think you could come here and help me?”
Jana and her husband, David Enlowe, have four children, three girls and one boy, living in Sugar Land. Elizabeth prayed every day and started looking to move right away. I wanted a warm and loving place. It was so hard to give up my home. All my memories were there; now they are in boxes with me.
Sandy and her husband, Lane Brindley, have four children: three boys and one girl.
She has one great-grandson, James Thomas Crane. She told his mom, Risa, “Look, he already has his little hands folded, telling God to thank you.” She loves to read Bible stories and sing to J.T.
What advice would you give someone facing the loss of their spouse today?
I discovered a logbook yesterday while going through papers. I wrote it years ago in Spring, Texas. I read over it yesterday. I encourage people to write things down. It will be necessary to you then and later. Every page in my log book, my life is so totally dedicated to God. God, I’m listening to You. Stay in touch with the Lord every day.
What did you do to find purpose again after losing your spouse?
Stay connected to the church. I thank Andie St. Jean for encouraging me to return to church. Now, I am in multiple Bible studies. I am a Core Leader for the Community Church in Sugar Land.
How did you handle the first year of widowhood?
I do not know what people do without the Lord. I couldn’t have made it through without Him. Lean on your friends and family if possible. God has never let go of me. Stay busy.
What do you love most about your husband?
His gentleness, kindness, and how he loved me and everyone else from the day I met him.
What is your favorite food?
When Mike was alive, he always made the best tenderloin steak and baked potato with his secret sauce. He loved to cook! BoomPa taught our grandson, Trey, how to cook and even shared the secret sauce! Now, I would say Mexican food!
What is your favorite hobby?
I love to sew. When Mike passed, Jana called me and said, “You sew, don’t you?” I went to work for a drapery company and loved making pillows, too. I have six sewing machines in my home, including one commercial machine. My grandmother taught me how to sew. She was a tiny little lady. Unfortunately, she had Glaucoma and was almost blind. She crocheted beautifully; I wish I had also learned that skill from her. She and I made all my doll’s clothes by hand when I was only five. I made wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses for both my daughters and their bridesmaids, including many of their friends.
I went to work every day from 2009 until 2020, when I moved to Overture (Apartments for 55 and up located across from Constellation Field.)
I also love calligraphy and am going to pick up my writing again.
In approaching the holiday season, what advice would you give to widows facing their first holiday season without their spouse?
Depend on the Lord and family if you can. Your family will give you what you can’t get anywhere else. Mike died in November, and I went to stay with Jana and David. I remember we ate early, and the children said, “Mamaw, here’s your Christmas present!” It was tickets to New York for one week with them. They knew what I needed at that time.
Is there anything you are struggling with now that we can help you with?
Security in the Lord. I get doubts in my head. I ask myself, “Is there anything I have forgotten to repent?” I must tell the enemy to get behind me and leave me alone.
I want to say a minute about our dear friend, Elizabeth.
She started an infant class, which grew to a Tuesday class for Mother’s Day Out. This grew every Tuesday/Thursday, eventually leading to a full-fledged school in Arlington Park Road Church of Christ.
She received her 50-year pin from Zeta Tau Alpha. As an Advisor, she helped initiate the very first chapter at the University of Texas at Arlington when it became an official chapter of the Fraternity.
What has our Widow’s Ministry meant to you?
I am thrilled to see the Widow’s group form. It is essential and assures us that we are not the only ones suffering. God will take care of us if we let Him. I have met new friends and love the community. I hope to be more active!
Interviewed and Written by Pam Foster