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Emotional Health

What To Do When Someone Is Dying

All thoughts below must be weighed with compassion and common sense.  Put yourself in the place of the receiver.  Weigh your words carefully.  Remember, receiving a handwritten, heartfelt card is very powerful to the person you are writing to, but when possible, always make part of your support in person.  It is better to be present and say nothing than to fill the silence with words.  The thoughts below are just guidelines, and your relationship with the receiver of your kindness must be considered. What to Say to Someone Who Is Terminally Ill What do […]

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Emotional Health, Holidays

You Made it Through The Holidays, Now What?

“You Made it Through The Holidays, Now What?” Coping with loss during the holidays and special occasions is an immense challenge, particularly for those who have lost a spouse. While you may have successfully navigated the recent holiday season, it’s crucial to recognize that the journey through grief is ongoing. Your first year, marked by the absence of the person you shared these special moments with, can be particularly poignant. This article reflects on the challenges faced and suggests constructive ways to cope. During the holiday season, the absence of a loved one becomes acutely

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Emotional Health, Grief, Relationships

Was it love of just bad timing?

Was it love or just bad timing? Approximately six months after Cindy died, I visited Abilene to visit my kids at college. I received a call from Cindy’s mother on my return trip home. She told me she felt it was time I moved on with my life and informed me she was at my house, cleaning out Cindy’s clothes and had cleaned out the bathroom cabinet of all her perfumes, makeup, etc. In horror, I had no words and somehow remained in control of my car as I pulled over to understand what was

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Emotional Health, Grief, Relationships

When You Feel Hope Is Lost

When You Feel Hope Is Lost   I heard this story a few days ago and wanted to share it with you as a story of encouragement. What do you do when all hope is lost, the pressure mounts, you lose it all overnight, the foreclosure of your home, the repossession of your car, and the food pantry is your only food source? It did for this lady when you thought it could not worsen. Statistics show that many widows and widowers suffer financially after losing a spouse—especially widows. I believe you will find the

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Emotional Health, Grief

Experience Loss? Not Ready? Now Is The Time.

Experience Loss? Not Ready? Now Is The Time. THESE ARE THE STEPS YOU NEED TO TAKE Losing a loved one is tragic, no matter how it happens. Unfortunately, when you experience loss, knowledge is power. There are critical steps to take to ensure protection from the legal system. In my book, “The Surviving Spouse Club,” on page 236, I have written with considerable detail about each of these 39 unique documents you need at hand at the time of loss. Not having these documents could cost you a lot of money in your time of

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Emotional Health, Faith, Financial, Grief, Life Stories, Relationships

Father’s Day Is Not Fun When You Have Lost Your Father

Father’s Day Is Not Fun When You Have Lost Your Father Day-to-day life in America is becoming increasingly disturbing, even with Father’s Day approaching. With all the anxiety and stress revealed on the nightly news, no wonder our sense of normality is all but gone. So many in our country have lost dads and husbands because of unexpected violence that this Father’s Day, there will be a lot of emptiness at the dinner table. Father’s Day, when everyone celebrates Father’s, which represents one-half of the strength of the family unit, will not be a celebration

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Emotional Health, Grief

Working From Home

Working From Home How many of you are working from home? What I have found best is to begin each workday early. This is easier said than done when your big, warm, soft bed calls you to sleep in. When you commuted to an office, you knew you had to allow time for traffic, parking, etc, yet you planned it. It was just part of doing your job. Working from home can be more challenging because of a lack of structure. It is less challenging if you plan your tomorrow before the end of today.

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Emotional Health

Creating Calm During Times Like These

Creating Calm During Times Like These Unlike at any other time in our history, we witness extraordinary events. Many of you have lost your spouse, and others are afraid of losing a loved one because of the unknown of what you are being told in the media. Worry and fear are natural reactions, often caused by your lack of control. Information is essential, but the 24/7 news cycle, whose job is to keep you in a state of panic, is causing fear and unrest. If you turn it off, your stress will immediately be reduced.

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Emotional Health

The Song, Even If, By “MercyMe” Will Bring You Peace

The Song, Even If, By “MercyMe” Will Bring You Peace Everyone has bad days. Widows and Widowers know this well. Twenty-three years ago, my wife died. Some days, it seems like 23 years have just happened. Other days seem like a lifetime ago. No matter what day you have today, countless others are experiencing bad days. Like you, they experience fear, sleeplessness, anxiety, unbelief, defeat, and hopelessness. I do not know who will read this post and listen to the beautiful words and testimony of “MercyMe.” I don’t know if your faith relies on what

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Emotional Health

The View From Here – Is Breathtakingly Beautiful

The View From Here – Is Breathtakingly Beautiful For those of us who have lost a spouse, it is natural to wonder if we are okay as we suffer without them. We can only see the things around us with our eyes, and sometimes, our situation in the middle of our grief and pain distorts our vision. It is hard to know that paradise awaits us when our time in this life has ended, and the wait is the most challenging part. Our minds begin to wonder about them, and our mind starts playing tricks

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Emotional Health

International Widows Day Honoring Those Surviving From Loss

Today, June 23, is International Widows Day Honoring Those Surviving From LossToday, June 23, is International Widows Day and we are honoring those surviving from loss.  The “Surviving From Loss” honors and recognizes those who are left behind by the passing of a spouse.  When you married, you did not plan to become a widow, nor would you have dreamed of such a time as this.  Here are a couple of thoughts for your consideration. It’s a “Catch 22” you have always put your spouse and everyone else first. To survive, you must put yourself

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Emotional Health

Sometimes We Do Not Know How To Understand

SOMETIMES, WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND Life does not make sense for any of us, especially your children. If you have children, the following story will help you to grasp this concept. One Sunday morning, our youngest daughter Katherine began to have pain in her side. We took her to the emergency room, where we waited for over twelve hours before the doctor could see her. Katherine was in extreme pain. Watching your children suffer is almost unbearable, and we would do anything to take away her pain. At about eleven p.m., we

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Emotional Health

The Widow, She Is Not A Leper

THE WIDOW, SHE IS NOT A LEPER When you hear the word Widow, what comes to your mind? Throughout history, widows have been considered old, fragile, poor, weak, contagious, helpless, and hopeless. Even though many Widows experience these conditions, it is an unfair label. A widow is not infectious and does not have a disease. She is not a leper and should not be ignored. The very opposite command is for the Christian. The Bible commands Churches in James 1:27 not to neglect the Widows and Orphans. In the 1st century, women were in low

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Emotional Health

His Shoes In Church Are Touching Mine, Why?

His Shoes In Church Are Touching Mine, Why? I showered and shaved, and I adjusted my tie. I got there and sat In a pew just in time. I lowered my head in prayer as I closed my eyes. I saw the man’s shoe next to me, touching my own. I sighed. With plenty of room on either side, I thought, ‘Why must our soles touch?’ It bothered me, his shoe touching mine, but it didn’t bother him much. A prayer began: ‘Our Father, I thought, ‘This man with the shoes has no pride. They’re

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Emotional Health

Loneliness Can Eat You Alive

LONELINESS CAN EAT YOU ALIVE This beautiful message was taken from a post on the Surviving From Loss Site and submitted by Jennifer Wear Blomberg.  Robert Neimeyer, Ph.D., wrote it.   The feeling of loneliness is real, but in reality, we are never alone. Loneliness from losing a spouse…can eat you alive.  I’m not literally “alone” because I know Christ is with me always…but I do experience bouts of loneliness- mostly at night OR sometimes while I’m amongst a lot of people. Sometimes you feel it coming on, and other times, it just hits you like

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Emotional Health

4 Ways To Comfort A Widower Who Is Grieving

The death of a wife could be one of the most challenging events an older man can face, leaving family members and friends wondering about ways to comfort a widower. Before the death of a spouse, married men enjoy better health and greater longevity than those who are not married. But there’s a big problem once a spouse dies. Of all the unmarried people, those with the worst health and elevated risk of death are widowed. Widowhood increases economic vulnerability and financial strain, especially for women and racial-ethnic minorities. There is significantly less written on helping widowers than on

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Emotional Health, Grief
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