December 2023

Father’s Day Is Not Fun When You Have Lost Your Father

Father’s Day Is Not Fun When You Have Lost Your Father Day-to-day life in America is becoming increasingly disturbing, even with Father’s Day approaching. With all the anxiety and stress revealed on the nightly news, no wonder our sense of normality is all but gone. So many in our country have lost dads and husbands because of unexpected violence that this Father’s Day, there will be a lot of emptiness at the dinner table. Father’s Day, when everyone celebrates Father’s, which represents one-half of the strength of the family unit, will not be a celebration […]

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Emotional Health, Grief

Working From Home

Working From Home How many of you are working from home? What I have found best is to begin each workday early. This is easier said than done when your big, warm, soft bed calls you to sleep in. When you commuted to an office, you knew you had to allow time for traffic, parking, etc, yet you planned it. It was just part of doing your job. Working from home can be more challenging because of a lack of structure. It is less challenging if you plan your tomorrow before the end of today.

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Emotional Health

The Anatomy Of A Family Pandemic

The Anatomy Of A Family Pandemic Families around the world today face pandemic situations when a health pandemic sweeps the globe, which for many feels like the unexplainable, uncontrollable emotion a family feels when losing a loved one. The Kubler-Ross model of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are all emotions that surface during such situations, yet there is no particular order or timing of these emotions. We have known about these five specific emotional responses since Kubler-Ross published their book on death and dying in 1969. The year 2020 may go down as the

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Grief

Creating Calm During Times Like These

Creating Calm During Times Like These Unlike at any other time in our history, we witness extraordinary events. Many of you have lost your spouse, and others are afraid of losing a loved one because of the unknown of what you are being told in the media. Worry and fear are natural reactions, often caused by your lack of control. Information is essential, but the 24/7 news cycle, whose job is to keep you in a state of panic, is causing fear and unrest. If you turn it off, your stress will immediately be reduced.

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Emotional Health

The Song, Even If, By “MercyMe” Will Bring You Peace

The Song, Even If, By “MercyMe” Will Bring You Peace Everyone has bad days. Widows and Widowers know this well. Twenty-three years ago, my wife died. Some days, it seems like 23 years have just happened. Other days seem like a lifetime ago. No matter what day you have today, countless others are experiencing bad days. Like you, they experience fear, sleeplessness, anxiety, unbelief, defeat, and hopelessness. I do not know who will read this post and listen to the beautiful words and testimony of “MercyMe.” I don’t know if your faith relies on what

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Emotional Health

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again

Tell Your Heart To Beat Again I heard this song by Phillips, Craig & Dean and read the story behind the song. I thought this story and song would bring comfort to all of us who are hurting and give us hope for the future. Pastors come in all shapes and sizes, and their temperaments are different, this pastor is high adrenaline type A, jumping out of airplanes, bungee jumping, motorcycle riding, and all that. He talked to one of his members, a surgeon, to allow him to be in the room during open-heart surgery.

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Relationships

Considering Dating Again? Move Forward With Caution.

CONSIDERING DATING AGAIN? MOVE FORWARD WITH CAUTION A CLIENT ASKED ME THIS? I am a divorced woman dating a widower whose wife was a close friend. Our relationship has moved from friendship to something more personal. We have not said love but enjoy each other’s company and feel comfortable together. I no longer live in the same town, but he called me and asked me to come for a visit. He seemed to be doing well and said he wanted to see me. When I arrived, I noticed he still had all her clothes and

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Relationships

Three Of The Top Ten Steps To Begin The Grief Process

Three Of The Top Ten Steps To Begin The Grief Process TRUTH TIME – You have suffered a loss; it is okay to admit that fact. You may think this to be a ridiculous comment, but until you can face the truth, you cannot heal. You cannot fix what you have not acknowledged. BUDDY UP – This is your accountability partner, who is critical in the healing process. Someone to help keep you on track. Listen to wise advice. Choose a trusted friend, someone you can trust to place your best interest before their own.

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Grief

Valentine’s Day Is Approaching, Some Surviving Spouse Suggestions

Valentine’s Day Is Approaching. Some Surviving Spouse Suggestions We are less than a month away from Valentine’s Day; what is one of the year’s most romantic days according to the calendar? Some discover that just because the calendar, florist, restaurants, and gift shops see Valentine’s Day as romantic, you may dread the word, seeing it on billboards and TV and hearing others talking about it. What was once a special day for you has now become a nightmare. Your Valentine has died, and celebrating now feels out of place. This day only reminds you of

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Relationships

As A Widow, It May Feel Like A Second Death

As A Widow, It May Feel Like A Second Death No one wants to think about losing their spouse. Today, Men and women enjoy their lives and avoid the “What if” question. This becomes a problem because most men or women who find themselves without their spouses may discover they are unprepared mentally, emotionally, and financially. The reality is in today’s world; women are over three times as likely as men to lose a spouse. The average age of a widow is between 55 to 59. Many women marry men much older than themselves, which

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Financial

Helping Your Child Who Lost A Friend

Helping Your Child Who Lost A Friend Most adults have experienced a loss of some type during their lifetime. Depending on the relationship, losing friends or family members is very uncomfortable to express. Now, put yourself in the position of a child or young adult. They may have witnessed death on television, but the experience is different when the death is someone they know personally. THE PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIP IS IMPORTANT AT EVERY STAGE OF LIFE When young adults of any age face the death of someone they know, the trauma can shake them to their

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Grief, Relationships

The View From Here – Is Breathtakingly Beautiful

The View From Here – Is Breathtakingly Beautiful For those of us who have lost a spouse, it is natural to wonder if we are okay as we suffer without them. We can only see the things around us with our eyes, and sometimes, our situation in the middle of our grief and pain distorts our vision. It is hard to know that paradise awaits us when our time in this life has ended, and the wait is the most challenging part. Our minds begin to wonder about them, and our mind starts playing tricks

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Emotional Health

International Widows Day Honoring Those Surviving From Loss

Today, June 23, is International Widows Day Honoring Those Surviving From LossToday, June 23, is International Widows Day and we are honoring those surviving from loss.  The “Surviving From Loss” honors and recognizes those who are left behind by the passing of a spouse.  When you married, you did not plan to become a widow, nor would you have dreamed of such a time as this.  Here are a couple of thoughts for your consideration. It’s a “Catch 22” you have always put your spouse and everyone else first. To survive, you must put yourself

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Emotional Health

3 Months, 15 Days, and 7 Hours, Now What?

3 MONTHS, 15 DAYS, AND 7 HOURS, NOW WHAT? Grief has no timeline and no defined pathway.   I hear people say, “It’s been three months, 15 days, and 7 hours and I feel lost,” or “What do I do now?”  Others will say, “My spouse died three years and nine months ago, and I still ______?______ all of the time.”  This blank could represent one or many different difficulties a surviving spouse is facing. Most people are not prepared to face the loss of their spouse. When two individuals become one in marriage, they begin

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Blog, Grief

Sometimes We Do Not Know How To Understand

SOMETIMES, WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND Life does not make sense for any of us, especially your children. If you have children, the following story will help you to grasp this concept. One Sunday morning, our youngest daughter Katherine began to have pain in her side. We took her to the emergency room, where we waited for over twelve hours before the doctor could see her. Katherine was in extreme pain. Watching your children suffer is almost unbearable, and we would do anything to take away her pain. At about eleven p.m., we

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Emotional Health

The Widow, She Is Not A Leper

THE WIDOW, SHE IS NOT A LEPER When you hear the word Widow, what comes to your mind? Throughout history, widows have been considered old, fragile, poor, weak, contagious, helpless, and hopeless. Even though many Widows experience these conditions, it is an unfair label. A widow is not infectious and does not have a disease. She is not a leper and should not be ignored. The very opposite command is for the Christian. The Bible commands Churches in James 1:27 not to neglect the Widows and Orphans. In the 1st century, women were in low

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Emotional Health

His Shoes In Church Are Touching Mine, Why?

His Shoes In Church Are Touching Mine, Why? I showered and shaved, and I adjusted my tie. I got there and sat In a pew just in time. I lowered my head in prayer as I closed my eyes. I saw the man’s shoe next to me, touching my own. I sighed. With plenty of room on either side, I thought, ‘Why must our soles touch?’ It bothered me, his shoe touching mine, but it didn’t bother him much. A prayer began: ‘Our Father, I thought, ‘This man with the shoes has no pride. They’re

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Emotional Health

Loneliness Can Eat You Alive

LONELINESS CAN EAT YOU ALIVE This beautiful message was taken from a post on the Surviving From Loss Site and submitted by Jennifer Wear Blomberg.  Robert Neimeyer, Ph.D., wrote it.   The feeling of loneliness is real, but in reality, we are never alone. Loneliness from losing a spouse…can eat you alive.  I’m not literally “alone” because I know Christ is with me always…but I do experience bouts of loneliness- mostly at night OR sometimes while I’m amongst a lot of people. Sometimes you feel it coming on, and other times, it just hits you like

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Emotional Health

The Gwen Fay McClain Story

THE GWEN FAY McCLAIN STORY Gwen Faye McClain was born in Bryan, Texas, on October 2, 1959. Gwen was the second of four children born to Herman and Esther Williams.    Her parents both attended Prairie View A&M University. After marriage, they moved to Anahuac, Texas, where her dad got his first teaching job. Her dad, Herman, was an industrial arts teacher and a bus driver for the school. Her parents were involved at the First Missionary Baptist Church, where her dad was a deacon, and her mom was the pianist. Her mom was also

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Life Stories

The Suzie Holderfield Story

THE SUZIE HOLDERFIELD STORY Jackie Suzanne Koch Holderfield, but we know her as Suzie. Suzanne Holderfield was born in San Antonio, Texas, on June 8, 1954, to loving parents Robert John Koch and Doris Mae Sharp.   Suzie has two older brothers and one younger sister, all living in Texas. Since birth, Suzie has led an exciting life. One of her favorite childhood memories was on her uncle’s ranch in Hondo, Texas. She played with her three girl cousins as they rode horses and pretended to be real ranch hands. They attended Rosemont Church of Christ,

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Life Stories
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